Nothing more calming than waves...........

Beach week with the family is going along. Being on the west coast, I don't get chill fam time often enough. Our annual fam vacation was to Ocean City, MD and we would always do the same things, it was nice to go to somewhere you felt you weren't a stranger. When we got older, less of us went to the beach and so my parents stopped going too. Now as adults, we've decided to make it happen again, except at Nags Head, NC (outer banks). So this week is very similar, yet different. We are trading dinner nights, drinking champagne in the jacuzzi, and living room filled with nephews running/crawling/stumbling around. Tonight we watched home videos and I def got in touch with my abdominal muscles. Its nice to be home. And the beach is great too.
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Kate--so glad to hear your keeping up with the running and it sounds like you're going further and further! Enjoying it also is so necessary, helps to have a running buddy. Do you crave diet soda with a high too? Oh there is nothing else better than carbonation to quench that crazy thirst! I'll look at your goals again when I get home to be sure, but it sounds like you're mostly on track! The diabetes sports and wellness thing sounds like so much fun--don't think we have as big of a group in SF. I've told Matt that I'm ready to stuff envelopes or do anything to help DTC thrive. Anne, from Triabetes, is spreading the word and organizing events. I also feel the need to get involved and into the social scene---so many people out there to connect with.
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Kat, your tri is around the corner! You've gotta text, email or post here to let us know how much ass you kicked! With a sprint tri, its so quick that if you run into BG/insulin issue, just try to make adjustments and then keep on keeping on...oh, I'm super excited for you! Are you enjoying spending more time with your kids these past couple weeks? It seems like you're keeping yourself busy too! Hopefully the diabetes program is still a potential! We're all such multi-taskers....
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I only have about two more weeks of hard training before the taper period...seems pretty crazy I've been following this program for almost a year already! I can def say I'm ready ready ready for the taper. Mark said the other day, "I'm ready to going back to running 30 minutes a day"...so agreed. When did a 2 hour workout not be considered a "long" workout? I've come so far, proven it to myself, and ready to challenge myself with another big goal! Haven't totally set my mind, but I'm sure it won't be long..................

DTC peeps unite in Seattle

I just got back from a night of hanging out with diabetics and I have a smile on my face. It's amazing how you can meet a diabetic for the first time and feel like you go way back with them, all in a matter of a few conversations in a few hours. I think there's a lot of bonding that takes place lamenting about the fact that our pancreases are slacking big time. Tonight was the first JDRF Diabetes Sports & Exercise Workshop in Seattle and it was great! I was lucky enough to hang out with three of the campers from DTC - Susannah, Greg, and Mike and it was really nice to catch up with them. I met a ton of new diabetics and I'm looking forward to building a strong support network in Seattle with the crew that was there tonight. There were probably about 40 people there - not a bad showing! We had a pretty informal talk with a local endocrinologist and a CDE/dietitian/exercise physiologist and just shared frustrations, strategies, and questions. I felt like I was still on a ridiculous high from DTC and wanted to share all I learned with everybody! Hopefully I wasn't talking too much - it's kinda my weak point when I get excited! I offered to take on the more social informal gatherings for the group and there was a lot of interest - more of the grab a beer and just chat type of crew. We'll see if that gets up and running! After the workshop, 4 of us went out to the bar and continued to get to know each other over a beer. I can't wait to see what comes of the JDRF Sports & Exercise group - it's a great start. The JDRF cycling group is having its annual party that I'm thinking of attending to get to know some of the riders and then Phil Southerland from Team Type 1 is coming to talk in a few weeks as well. Exciting stuff on the horizon - I can really feel the untapped potential!

Keep Rockin' it Ladies!

Kat, it's great to have you on here! It's been so fun hearing about your triathlons and I can't wait to hear to success story once you've completed your next one! What's your training schedule looking like these days? It sounds like you have some great ideas up your sleeves for type 1 support groups - I'd love to hear more about that as you get closer! I think that's the strongest thing about DTC - the support network that has developed out of it! Ok, and maybe the motivation to actually sign up for a race!

Holly - 20 miles girl, you rock! Too bad you didn't just carry your dad on your back - I think you have enough drive and dedication to have done that if you wanted it bad enough! Just kidding! I hope you are kicking back with your family and really just enjoying their company and relaxing like you deserve to relax. Have you been able to sleep better lately? What's the latest on Carrie's book? How did your endo appointment end up going last week? Keep driving forward - I can't wait for November 7th - you'll rock it!

I've been running a lot lately and continue to love it. I can't wait for my 10K in a few weeks and then I'm going to let myself sign up for the Seattle half-marathon the Sunday after Thanksgiving if all goes well. I'm not going to get too ahead of myself - one thing at a time! I've been running 4 days a week and won't let myself run on the weekends because I don't want to eat into our play time with friends and each other. We're always going up to the mountains on the weekends and I really want to seperate my "training" from my play time! Chaco and I went for a great run on Friday and he was pretty pooped at the end of it. He and I were waiting on the corner for the light to change and a nice man came up on his bike. Chaco scored a tennis ball from the man's bike jersey and the people in all of the cars had huge smiles on their faces, never expecting that to happen! It made Chaco's day! I came back from my run and sat down on the couch, only to realize my breath smelled really sweet. Nice - pump site wasn't working the whole run and I went from 100 to 280 with ketones. I was on the verge of throwing up but slammed a liter of Coke Zero in just enough time to flush the little buggers out of my system! Gotta love it! Friday night Erik and I went out to dinner and I realized my favorite store had balloons out front that said "I will never grow up!" I went inside and asked for a balloon and Erik tied it to my wrist. I walked around, acting like I was 5 and really enjoyed feeling like a total kid again. Can you picture this? My little neighbor Marcus was out in front of our house when we got home and I gave Marcus my balloon. I think it made his day and it definitely made mine! We had a great weekend at a YMCA camp work party doing great work projects for camp - it really felt wonderful to volunteer and make a special place a bit better.

Keep rockin' it ladies! How are your goals coming along?? -Kate

Welcome KAT!!!

Hi KAT! I was hoping you'd posted something, so exciting that we're all doing it and staying in touch in style! :) You will be amazed at how fun the sprint tri is...you'll rock it out! The BG hopefully will be helping you out, either way, you'll have a great race!
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Kate, I like the phrase a lot. I think another diabetic tri group has fueled by insulin, what about powered by insulin to be different? Either way, think its a great idea for the another table top--hehe...I must say that was too cool.
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I did a 20 mile run today which is the longest I've run since my marathon a couple years ago. I had a pit stop at the beach house at mile 14 hoping to convince my dad (who also runs) to run the last 6 with me, but it was a no-go. So I got some more alone time and it ended up torentially downpouring for the last two miles (woulda only been 2 miles, but I got lost like typical Holly). Anyway, I feel very accomplished and think thats going to be my longest run till the real thing! I don't know about swimming in the Atlantic Ocean (I'm in the Outer Banks) the storms from Atlanta have brought in some pretty nasty waves....hopefully it will calm later in the week. Ahhhh family time ;) Good night, its tooooo late to be up!
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Peace out, Holly

Nice to be w/my buddies!!

I just finished reading all of the posts on the blog. It's great to see the successes everyone is experiencing! Kate, you can do it...pregnancy and all!! The rewards in the end are priceless, trust me! I look at my boys each day and am so thankful for the blessings in my life, even after SEVERAL years of really poor diabetes care.
I am one week away from my Sprint Tri @Santa Rosa Beach, Pensacola, FL. I am also getting nervous! I know that once the race gets underway I will be fine, but the nerves I'm feeling now is just crazy. After the sprint I will be moving on to a 15k in November...the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning in Tally. Then it will be a 1/2 Marathon in Jacksonville for Breast Cancer in February. That's as far out as I'm willing to plan right now.
I met with our local hospital this week to discuss a plan for a Non-Profit that will be geared towards a more personable approach to support Type I Diabetics. I shared my experiences at DTC as well as the struggles I've experienced in my training, etc. The buy in was AWESOME. I was meeting with the CEO, head of Admin, Pres of their Foundation and the head of their Diabetes Center. I am VERY excited to see this develop.
Keep up the hard work! Kat Owen

Ideas???

Hey Pepper - I'm thinking about making something...what is your take on "Athletic Diabetics - Fueled by insulin"? Or can you come up with something more creative? Leme know!

Sitting at Molly Moon's, eating ice cream

Today I did it, I finally got my A1c below 7% - 6.9% to be exact and it's the lowest it's been since probably 6 months before I was diagnosed with diabetes! The lowest in my diabetic life and I can't be any more happy. I went to my appointment early so that I could get my A1c done before I saw my doctor. Why? Because I really wanted to know! I'm working towards my goal of an A1c of less than 6.5% and I wanted to know if I was headed in the right direction. Sure, my averages were great and are getting better every week, but I had this sneaking suspicion that the A1c test would be totally inaccurate. They handed me the paperwork and I met Erik at my appointment and shared the news with him - I got a hug and a kiss and the feeling from him that he knows I can do it. Then I shared with him that I had this secret reward that I promised myself if my A1c was below 7% - salted carmel ice cream in a waffle cone at Molly Moon's! I could have easily driven myself to the ice cream shop any of these days but I decided my new reward for all of this hard work was an ice cream cone at Molly Moon's every 3 months after my appointment if I keep making headway towards my goal. Who the hell cares about one high blood sugar after ice cream every 3 months? It will be my "diabetes vacation". My appointment was great - my doc was very impressed with everything I've done since DTC. After camp I pretty much overhauled my pump, took my basal rates down to one rate and then built them back up, similar to taking a car into the mechanics shop. I've worked my ass of on basal test and carb ratio testing and from the looks of it - I'm there. She didn't recommend any changes but instead was interested in knowing how I got to where I am. I raved about DTC and my doc is actually interested in doing an internship with Dr. Matt at one of the future camps. She borrowed my book from camp and I can't wait for her to take a look at it. I feel like anyone who goes through DTC comes out with a different perspective and understands a lot more about the multifaceted challenges diabetes presents. Erik and I got the "green light" to head towards pregnancy although we've told ourselves that we are waiting until our Thailand trip in December and then at that point we'll see what happens. Today I feel great - I went on an amazing run with Chaco this morning and for the first time I feel like I really will be able to tackle pregnancy and know that it will be an adventure but that we can do it. The ice cream tasted great and knowing Erik had an ice cream cone at 5pm on a beautiful afternoon made me realize we are both in this together and together we can achieve more!

Endo apt. today...

It's crazy to think that my first 13 years living with diabetes I freaked out when I went to my every 3 month endo apts. Sometimes I would "forget" to bring my meter, sometimes I would religiously write blood sugars in a brand new log book, a few months of BS within 30 minutes, and sometimes my heart would race so much they often thought I had high blood pressure. I hate being held accountable by a doctor who really doesn't understand the emotional side of living with diabetes, someone who just doesn't get IT. The tables turned two years ago when I saw my doctor care about me enough to encourage me to change my life. I had really turned my back to my diabetes and during my first year of teaching it all came crashing down on me rather quickly. It was about this time two years ago when I decided to take a medical leave of absence from my teaching job to focus on myself and the advice my doctor gave me was the best advice ever. I now see her as one of my teammates, coaching me on the side and encouraging me when I need to be encouraged.

I know, this is going to sound crazy, but now I actually look forward to my appointments with her. I really respect her and at this point in my life, I feel like I can take charge of the appointments and set the agenda rather than get yelled at. It's a refreshing change of pace and today I'm looking forward to seeing her again and sharing with her some of the great things I learned at DTC and telling her how DTC filled the void in my life I needed filled. Today I seem to have less questions written down than most appointments and I feel a little more at peace. My 7 day average is 124, 14 day average is 142, and 30 day average is 147 and my sensor data agrees as well. I'm looking forward to seeing where my A1c is today and mapping out my journey of what I will need to do to achieve my DTC goal of less than 6.5%. Will I tear myself apart if it isn't there yet? No, I can't...I can only react and ask myself what changes I can make to get closer to that goal!

Standing at the crossroads...

Before I start my daily rambling, here's to Holly and how amazing it is to really experience her triumphs and challenges during her Ironman training! I'm so lucky to be able to hear the stories through our blog. She's one in a million in the fact that she's not going to let anything stand in her way, not even diabetes! Holly - I know you know how big of a challenge it is to merely train for the Ironman but you've really proven to yourself and others that the sky is the limit. Keep up the focus and effort and keep feeding the athlete - the athlete is hungry and the monster (ah, like the scary monsters that used to live under my bed when I was little) is full and has a stomach ache!

The crossroads - yesterday afternoon I felt like I stood at the crossroads of my life, just reflecting on where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going. If you can't tell, I kinda want my future to play out in front of me before it actually happens. I used to have this crazy sense of adventure and freedom and would reach for the unknown with hands wide open and over the past two years I've fluttered between "tell me now" and "I know everything will figure itself out, it's just a matter of time". I felt the crossroads yesterday because I had a great day with the two little boys I took care of yesterday! I loved nannying three years ago and I fell right back into that feeling of taking care of little kids so easily yesterday. They were adorable and we had a great time going on bike rides, picking up leaves at the park, and munching off their 10+ fruits and veggies in their garden. So that's one fork on the crossroads. The other - 3 math support specialist jobs just opened up at one of the more vibrant and more diverse middle schools in Seattle and after thinking I would just nanny and substitute teach, I applied to all 3 positions. I find myself totally confused about which route is going to be best for me and hope to find some calm in knowing things will work out the way they are supposed to be. Do I nanny, substitute teach, and think towards having kids when I feel great about my diabetes control and relatively stress-free? If given the opportunity, do I launch myself back into the sometimes crazy world of teaching and see if I can still manage my diabetes as well so that when we are ready to have kids, it will be an option? I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

Oh diabetes, sometimes you make me stronger and sometimes you complicate my life in ways I wish were less complicated!

As Dr. Matt said many times at camp - "I think it's amazing what each and every one of you does on a daily basis!" IT IS AMAZING - UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING! Keep it up!

SF diabetics and nerves

Tonight I ran with four other Type 1s organized by Anne Finlay, part of Triabetes. It was nice to be around other diabetics again...much love there. The run was along the SF Bay but the fog was outrageous and let us see nothing of the Bay Bridge or the Bay itself...how selfish. Anyway, cold and windy (yes, even in September) still had a good time. Wish I woulda taken a picture, maybe next time. Sounds like a couple were interested in meeting up for another workout, so thats cool.


AHHHH, I am so nervous about the workout tomorrow...its one of the longest in my training...its going to be a ~7 hour bike (90 miles) and then a 7 mile run. I hope it goes okay..................well, I should probably rest up. I'll post about it later and take pics too! Till next time.

Ha!

HAHAH, look at the posts...mine are all responding to your posts and yours are so reflective....love it!!!!

What a post!

Oh my goodness, so I totally should be writing an important email right now, but I need to respond to the post Kate wrote. I love the way you write, it completely fires me up. Taking the frustration out in a workout is so vigorating and eases the mind. So many times I find myself having trouble getting energy, then go out for a workout and then come home with 1000X more. Seems rather counter-intuitive but rarely does it not work. Running is the sport that challenges me the most too...I feel like biking you can see so much more, easier on the legs/recovery, and can go forever. Yet, after, running feels the best. Yes, it has a lot to do with the mental acheivement for me too. I find that I like my long runs more than the short ones--they allow you to step off the pace a bit, look around, get in a groove, and just go. Have you ever seen that runner who is just striding away with the perfect posture like she/he isn't even working hard? Thats the way I feel on many long runs...may not look it, but feel it. I once told a friend, I just want to get to the point where running gets easy. She told me it never gets easy b/c you push yourself every day. But it does get more comfortable.
Kate, you've got some hurdles in your way with the job but you're building your life every day and adjusting your personal goals with this frustration. Awesomeness.
The challenge I need to focus on is........to be continued.

The balance of challenge

Over the years I've begun to figure myself out, one puzzle piece at a time. I've always been one who has liked to reflect on my past to learn a little bit more about myself for the present and the future. So as I hit the saddle yesterday for my ride, I really needed to reflect on the last 5 weeks of searching for a job. I'm not going to lie, it's been a frustrating experience looking for a teaching job and I'm still unemployed. I've usually been the teacher that stands out from the crowd because others can really see that my relationships with students are genuine and I truly care about my kids. I've got amazing references and have had some stellar observations, and still I can't find a job back in Seattle. At this point, the frustration is starting to play with my mind a little because I'm qualified and unemployed - yeah for our kick-ass economy at this moment! I fell apart yesterday and went out on my bike ride to work out the stress I've been feeling about not being able to find a job. I was wondering why I was "feeding the monster" all morning and what switched in me to feed the monster and not the athlete. About 45 minutes into my ride it hit me. I figured out yet another puzzle piece to the complex, always changing Kate. I NEED CHALLENGE IN MY LIFE. The last 5 weeks have been all but challenging and I haven't met my appropriate level of challenge throughout the day to stay sane. Why have I set my road bike aside and picked up my running shoes? Up until my bike ride, I don't think there was an answer. I picked up my running shoes because I didn't think I could run and I've kept on running because it's my biggest challenge during the day! Biking doesn't challenge me unless it's a long ride but running does. I finished my first 5K and will be running in my first 10K in 4 weeks...maybe I'll keep going after that. Here's to using exercise to keep me mentally and physically challenged until I find a job that will do the same. I'm a very athletic individual and I'm going to take this time to challenge myself physically (don't worry - I'm not going to do an Ironman yet - go Holly!) and realize the potential that I haven't tapped into for awhile. I have the most amazing forward momentum when I meet my optimal level of challenge, if I fall below that level I fall apart and if the level rises too high, I fall apart. I know - I've felt the two extremes in the past two years and I've learned. The desire for challenge has led me to write 175 pages on my experiences and adventures living with diabetes a year and a half ago and will drive me to keep hitting the pavement one foot at a time!

Remembering the good times.......

So I blogged during camp....wish I was back. Its a long one, just a warning, I never claimed to be quick about anything....tip, sit back with a glass of wine and enjoy the memories.


Thursday August 13


What a day—bottle this day, take a sip each day, live a long life. To be honest, this is the day I was somewhat nervous about. Long runs tend to be the hardest workouts for me. The factors of thinking about running for a extended period of time, holding a steady pace, and also the whole blood sugar issues that can come into play.

The first couple days of camp I was fighting steady hyperglycemia. I increased my basal rate overnight and this was the first morning I woke up at a great blood sugar (now, the pressure to keep it that way). After bolusing for breakfast, still a great number with a little cushion for the long workout. Wearing the continuous glucose monitor, I could see my blood sugar drop a little and hold steady just where I wanted to be....just in time to start carb intake appropriately. Everything feel in place and was turning out to be a great run. Yoli pointed out on the map how it was impossible to get lost. Off we go, JJ and I into a good pace comfortable to talk. Yoli didn’t realize how directionally challenged we were. We got lost, well, not technically lost, we just got off the trail. So we just turned around and did an out and back course instead of the intended loop. Pushing it towards the end, we met back up to Yoli (cheering us in as always!) and then I went out for another loop with Dr. Matt. I was so happy to be able to have such a good run with the person who gave me the knowledge and power to be able run with little blood sugar issues. Pretty incredible experience. Meeting up with Amy, the three of us completed the loop. Third loop was on my own. I was wearing an Half-Ironman shirt and this woman walking her dog the opposite way must have noticed. We met eyes and she asked me if I had done an Ironman. “Nope but I’m training for one in November.” She then introduced herself as the first female Ironman finisher, Lyn Lemaire. Wow, that was so random and pretty awesome!!! My husband googled her to make sure this was true, and sure enough she was the first in 1979. Craziness.

That afternoon we listened to a Dr. Matt lecture on something that every diabetic has issues with: glucose control during workouts. We reviewed lowering basal rates at certain times, reducing insulin to carb ratio for meal prior to the workout, and then taking in adequate carbs during. This seems straight forward but it’s amazing how individualized it is and also so variable from day to day. Lately, as soon as I feel like I have it right, something changes and I need to go back to the drawing board and trial/error again. It was very comforting seeing people also struggle with this and I felt privileged that this was not the first time I’d heard this. Before I knew these techniques, I had been completely off with timing of insulin and exercise. So off that I didn’t enjoy workouts—not something you want to have going into months of training for a long distance triathlon. Incredibly practical lecture.

After this we had a guest, Chris Dudley, a former NBA basketball player talk with us. His story was very inspiring because it was at a time where type 1 diabetics didn’t have all the resources we do now. I couldn’t imagine playing such a competitive level of sports plus not having the pump. He said something like I felt best when I was between 150-180. I thought it was interesting the whole week finding that 180 was kind of the cut off of how high your blood sugar should get. I feel that when I’m over 180, workouts don’t seem as strong and I was under the impression that this was just my random number. Didn’t seem that way. Anyway, I asked him if he felt like he ever got it right? He said he felt like he learned a lot and got better but never felt like everything always went perfectly. Very interesting since he’s doing the same thing everyday, very precise, and yet he still had difficulties (and of course many successes). He was so humble and it was great hearing about his story. Diabetics are accomplishing great things.

The night ended with adults eating BBQ outside, playing Frisbee, and learning to hula hoop. Camp should last forever.



Friday August 14th


After having such a spectacular day yesterday, I was excited to see what was next. The schedule each day is jam packed with workouts, meals, lectures and showering is optional when you can find the time. Today started out with a nutrition lecture and it was interesting learning a little about Celiac disease because there are many people here with it. Even though the dining hall does have some options for gluten free products, I imagine this is hard to deal with on a daily basis in the non-DCT world.

Grant, the bike dude, is one of the funniest people here. He’s sarcastic and looks to have a good time anywhere. My bike fitting was this morning and since I was having trouble keeping my eyes open while pedaling on the bike, I was not too conversational, but even in my sleepy haze, I got the most awesome bike fitting ever (soon to read below). He fit me for my aero position along with the typical road position. Perfectionist bike doctor and now I feel more comfortable on my bike.

Yumm....lunch.....again lost the carb counting contest. About 12 carbs off. Next time.

Afternoon workout was a highlight of the week. We were lead out by Celeste, but once the bike path hit, people took off. Testing out my new fit, I was amazed at how fast and more importantly feeling like I could get a full foot stroke with lots of power. When I went by my friend, I said, “gazelle on your left!” I was smoking. We got to the destination, a beautiful lake with mountain ranges on the horizon. We were met by many campers sunbathing who took a car there and so we had a cheering crowd as we made our way to the lawn. Swim caps on and swam from buoy to buoy. Celeste and Yoli then decided we were swerving wasting our energy so we were given a quick lesson on sighting. Focused on a stationary object---got it. Just swimming in open water is so relaxing and seeing people swim in a lake for the first time was pretty cool. Everyone had a great time. Then back on our bikes with dinner as the destination. I decided not to get into the pace line because number one I was feeling so good and two I wanted to get a strong ride in. The guys broke up the drafting line on a hill and I took off into no man’s land. Riding by myself for about 15 minutes without anyone in sight behind me, Patrick comes to the left of me on his rental road bike with one drop of sweat coming down his cheek and passes me like I stopped to treat a low. Haha, so JJ and Sara were right behind him and then I jump on to the back. From there all the way back the race was on. We were playing leap frog, one person from the back would test the person in the front. We were cranking out ridiculous speeds (I honestly didn’t have the extra energy to look but JJ said we were holding 26 mph...might I add with a little wind). Then the trail was over and I think we all were a little sad to have our competition over.

Dr. Matt’s lecture was all about hypoglycemic. His lectures are so practical that they are always great to listen to. You learn so much about why things happen like they do. The theory behind consecutive lows (many repeated lows in a one day or so) was very interesting, especially since there have been a couple times I can remember them happening. The lecture ended with a pretty hilarious story of Dr. Matt being a research guinea pig for his “friend.” They made his blood sugar go incredibly low---some friends! Props to him for trusting them and especially to go through with the experiment...

Ending the night were the skits, we had some pretty funny inside jokes throughout the week, and so these skits were all making fun of staff...what better way to end the night???



Saturday, August 15


Today is very sad day. Saying goodbye to some of the coolest people is what I had to do. This group of people made my experience at camp so much more fun. I had conversations with just about everyone and each one was special and unique. The environment at camp was nothing like I’d ever experienced and was supportive beyond imagination. The staff was pretty unbeatable, each one of them so encouraging, uplifting and positive, energetic....campers plus staff led to the best week of my life.

After the circle of everyone’s closing thoughts, I don’t think there was a dry eye. That was raw emotions and no guards up. I had some things to say, thanks to everyone that sat through my book. The overwhelming support for my future Ironman event was incredible. In my regular life, no one seems to understand the true challenge this will be....it’s the beauty of uniting people with diabetes.

Goodbyes are always tough, but this one seemed a bit different. I plan on keeping in touch with a couple friends. I’ll see the staff again when I come back to camp next year. The eight hour drive home was truly therapeutic and drove without boredom, laughing out loud, and wishing camp were a little bit longer.


Sunday, August 16


Adjusting to regular life will take a couple days. That’s what I noticed when I went out for a group run and decided to run on my own—my mind was in a different place and didn’t feel right to be chatty. I live in San Francisco and was on such a beautiful run around the Presidio Park overlooking the Golden Gate bridge. In the middle of my run, I sat down for a minute and watched the waves crash against the rocks just thinking about the last week. Best week of my life? I think that is clear. Life is good.

The Art of Diabetes...

Friday was my "long run" day and by long run I mean 45 minutes Pepper - not 4 hours! It was the longest run I've purposefully run. I decided to hit the pavement when I didn't have any active insulin in my body and set a temp basal of 50% for 2 hours before my workout and I nailed it! I really did - I tested at the beginning and I started at 142 and ended at 96 and maintained that for an hour or so. I absolutely loved seeing how excited Chaco got when I asked him if he wanted to go for a run...seeing his drive on the run kept me going. He's become my running buddy! I promised myself I wouldn't look at my watch until I got to Fisherman's Terminal (2/3rds there) and I didn't actually look at my watch until I got closer to home. It was the first run I truly enjoyed - I was just running to run and I loved it! I felt great and felt like I could have easily gone twice as far. So the exciting point in the run was when I realized something that will probably stick in my mind for years to come - It's an ART, not a science...Diabetes is an ART! Where's this coming from? I've been frustrated over the years at the fact diabetes isn't an "exact science" as I've said and up until now, it was just frustration for someone so linear and math/science based. I've tapped into my artistic talent in the past few weeks after finishing my tile mosaic table and I've really enjoyed the fact that I could decide how the table would turn out. So anyways, on my run, I decided that it's all trial and error, similiar to art. I was excited to try a new strategy with decreasing basals and fueling - it's a bit of an art as well. Diabetes is all about finesse - try something and reflect, try something else and reflect, getting a bit closer at times and a bit further away at times. I can't expect perfection because there isn't a "perfect" in art...I can just give it the best I can! Today I went for a 4 hour, 47 mile bike ride and I kept my blood sugars between 111 and 132 the whole way. I guess you can say I had some art skills today - maybe not tomorrow, but today! Keep rockin' it!

To Kate and random rambles

Kate, first off, my hat's (okay I wear visor's) off to you! I'm so excited you're motivating yourself to keep up with the running and heading in the direction of a 10K! You will rock it out and have an amazing experience! All those doggie runs will pay off---does Seattle have any doggie friendly races? I know they have lots in Denver so they probably do in Green Seattle. Keep up with the running b/c my goal buddy is going to do a triathlon before she knows it. You'd be the perfect candidate for it b/c they are more like adventure races than running races. There is a triathlon called Wildflower that everyone camps out for the weekend (mainly cause there are no hotels around) and go INTO the race all smelly...good thing the swim is first b/c its the only shower people have seen in days. Anyone willing to do that has gotta have some spunk to their life.


Glad to hear you've been sticking out your goals. When's your next A1c? I have the exact same target and mine will be next Monday!! AH! As a teenager, I found out that there is a couple ways to cheat the system...but this time I've been honest. And obviously no reason to cheat the system when you've got a higher goal of preparing for being prego. Are you working with a prenatal endo? I've heard some work closely with an endo even before they become pregnant, but I don't know if that's a insurance battle or what. Its awesome you have a cgm, that will help tons.


Those pesky basal tests! They DO take up so much of your time. Sounds like you got good data and made changes where needed. I find that I keep needed to make changes due to my training schedule b/c some weeks are more intense than others and different activities do different things to my insulin sensitivity. Unfortunately, they never seem to stay still for me, but I tweak them at various times. One thing I dread doing is logging. I try to do them at night, taking notes throughout the day, but I seriously do not like doing them. It forces me to be accountable for the day. Seeing a high--well, what did I do wrong? Did I estimate carbs incorrectly, give too little insulin, was it after a workout or pump disconnect?...This is the part where I have been much more forgiving since camp. We are trying to do something so intricate, so many hormones involved, so many other systems involved with feedback loops. Endocrine system in Anatomy and Physiology was the most difficult...you've got everything involved. Cardiac system is so straight forward. Can anyone replace my pump with a daily pill, hell I'll take a it 3-4 times a day...so many conditions are well controlled by a nicely colored pill but the endocrine system is so complicated. I struggle with this each day when patients in Emergency Department don't take their blood pressure medication b/c they don't feel bad or admit just laziness in getting the prescription refill. (I'm not even talking about the people that can't afford it or get insurance...etc...) But I'm sitting here trying to be as healthy as I can and struggling to maintain control mixed in with exercise and I'm suppose to give you sympathy? Hum...sorry a little off topic.

My daily goal: to think about the job we are doing every minute of every day and feel a sense of pride. We are accomplishing and doing a damn good job at it! Cheers to that.

Peace out, LL Lancet

Goals & life beyond diabetes...

I've always set goals in my life but most of them have been "secret goals", goals I only knew and didn't make a point to share with others. Why secret goals? Maybe I'm scared of failing, maybe I loose motivation and don't always want to be held accountable, maybe because I'm a little bit of a perfectionist and my goals have always been unachievable and somewhat out of my control. Who knows! Coming off of Diabetes Training Camp (DTC from now on), I decided I wouldn't keep my goals a secret anymore because I realized that I need to learn to rely on other people to keep me motivated for the long haul. My main goal is that I want to have an A1c of 6.5% or less in the next 6 months to prepare myself for pregnancy. I'm close but not quite there. I think pregnancy is going to be one wild and crazy ride and if I have good control going into it, Erik and I will enjoy the journey and the adventure that much more. Whoa, a little Makinson running around - now that's a scary thought! My 3 action steps are: 1) Build a strong base by tweaking pump settings, 2) focus on accurate carb counting, and 3) maintain a weekly average of 80% on 3 daily tasks - logging blood sugars, working out, and walking our hilariously spazzy poocho Chaco. I continue to plug along on my goals and things are actually falling into place pretty nicely. I'm working on not being too hard on myself when all hell breaks loose with diabetes, because I've learned there are usually more questions than answers but I can only give it my best shot every day. Enough about diabetes, that's only a small fraction of who I really am! I finished my first 5K race last weekend and it felt great! Being one of 2,000 women at the Aflac Iron Girl was pretty inspiring and yesterday I signed up for my first 10K. It's 4 weeks away and I've mapped out a training plan between now and then. I think I'm using running as a stress reliever during this time of unemployment and I really enjoy the time of the day when I throw my shoes on and Chaco and I hit the pavement - something about it feels so good. I can't wait for this weekend - getting new ski boots for the season, new ski pants, Fremont Octoberfest with friends (I scored free tickets!), JDRF Bike Ride on Sunday, maybe even a native plants gardening talk as well. I love weekends, especially the amazing breakfasts we always seem to make! Here's to setting manageable goals, sharing them with others, and keeping a positive attitude even when I don't nail things 100% all the time!

Here we go!!....

Let me voice it here, I am not going to let this blog be forgotten. I need extra motivation and accountablity checks very often. This is the perfect way to do it, more fun than email and a place to check in. I have also been on good behavior and finished my goal worksheet from camp. And Kate, there's no getting out of them, there will be repeat checks on us both (and anyone else reading and blogging). We mean serious stuff here!


I don't know if I have enough time for this since I'm on my break at work, but I can at least get started. DTC was the most amazing week I've ever had. My husband gives me a little frown face when I say that, but I am being honest with him as I try to explain. I've made an big effort to keep in touch with campers b/c I know these people have already given me so much. I'm much less hard on myself, much less nervous about highs/lows/"failures" plus the hilarious times at camp. From the moment camp started, I felt so incredibly comfortable, which I rarely feel to be honest. These people understand me. Maybe not understand my profession, family, or my past, but they understand what I've felt since I was 8. The frustration of so many things, just to start, hearing: "oh you have diabetes, so does my grandmother." No, no, no. These people know. I didn't need to explain why I needed to step off the track and eat something...actually, everyone was going low together which was a pretty exciting (?!) bonding moment. And towards the end of the week after my bike fitting, hammering it with some beastly diabetics on the ride was something I'll never forget. Pushing yourself to your limits is what we did and have been programmed to do. I often wonder if I'd be as healthy if I we're diabetic....thats another topic. But after camp, I got back home and wanted so badly to go back. Yes, I was happy to see my husband, but things just didn't feel right for a couple days. Even though I haven't experienced it, I would assume it would be like coming back from a long stay in a foreign country...being away and now thrown back into the real world. Lack of worries, judgement, work at camp mixed in with outdoor activities, education on what I've been looking for on the internet, and the friendships are what made it. Everyone, including staff, was having one of the best weeks of their lives. It totally exeeded my expectations and I had very high expectations for this camp. The initial transition is over and secretly waiting to go back next year but I'm now looking forward to strengthening the relationships I've made and continue to carry that supportive and non-judgemental environment into my real world. Then maybe I won't feel like I'm takling this thing with a butter knife. Peace out, Holly

Reflection...

I can't tell you how excited I am to have a goal buddy blog - absolutely amazing idea Holly! I can't wait to share my adventures and challenges with someone who completely understands what it's like to live with diabetes day in and day out. Four weeks ago, after leaving Diabetes Training Camp after a wonderful week of activity and frienships, I knew something in me had changed. I wasn't sure exactly what it was and I'm sure I still don't know. I've now lived with diabetes since 7th grade and the majority of the time diabetes has made me feel isolated and alone. At the same time, diabetes had made me one hell of a strong chick - bagging 14,495 foot mountains with other diabetics (thanks to Bearskin Meadow Camp) and I know my diabetes has pushed me to be at one of the healthiest points in my life right NOW! Up until Diabetes Training Camp, it had been 8 years since I lived in a sureal world with other diabetics at a summer camp and I realized I really missed being around people who understood without having to explain. There's just something about it that feels comfortable. Diabetes Training Camp brought that understanding back in my life again and just knowing my fellow campers are out there rooting for me makes all of the difference in the world! I've followed through on setting my goals from Carrie's talk at camp and I'm going to stick to focusing on and ultimately achieving the goals I've set in front of me. More on my goals later. I've set goals in the past, many of those self-talk "secret goals" but now there's no turning back - Holly's holding me accountable and I can't let her down! To the most amazing goal buddy anyone can have - LET'S DO THIS! Cheers to us and our amazing futures that lie ahead of us, whether it be finishing the Ironman with a sense of accomplishment or being ready to head towards the land "kid-dom" - we can do it and nothing can stop us! Goal buddies unite!

All we are, we are

Everyday's a new day....use the time well. This is going to be my motto for a while. Just a quick post to see how everything is gonna turn out. :) Cotton and LL-Lancet unite!