The balance of challenge

Over the years I've begun to figure myself out, one puzzle piece at a time. I've always been one who has liked to reflect on my past to learn a little bit more about myself for the present and the future. So as I hit the saddle yesterday for my ride, I really needed to reflect on the last 5 weeks of searching for a job. I'm not going to lie, it's been a frustrating experience looking for a teaching job and I'm still unemployed. I've usually been the teacher that stands out from the crowd because others can really see that my relationships with students are genuine and I truly care about my kids. I've got amazing references and have had some stellar observations, and still I can't find a job back in Seattle. At this point, the frustration is starting to play with my mind a little because I'm qualified and unemployed - yeah for our kick-ass economy at this moment! I fell apart yesterday and went out on my bike ride to work out the stress I've been feeling about not being able to find a job. I was wondering why I was "feeding the monster" all morning and what switched in me to feed the monster and not the athlete. About 45 minutes into my ride it hit me. I figured out yet another puzzle piece to the complex, always changing Kate. I NEED CHALLENGE IN MY LIFE. The last 5 weeks have been all but challenging and I haven't met my appropriate level of challenge throughout the day to stay sane. Why have I set my road bike aside and picked up my running shoes? Up until my bike ride, I don't think there was an answer. I picked up my running shoes because I didn't think I could run and I've kept on running because it's my biggest challenge during the day! Biking doesn't challenge me unless it's a long ride but running does. I finished my first 5K and will be running in my first 10K in 4 weeks...maybe I'll keep going after that. Here's to using exercise to keep me mentally and physically challenged until I find a job that will do the same. I'm a very athletic individual and I'm going to take this time to challenge myself physically (don't worry - I'm not going to do an Ironman yet - go Holly!) and realize the potential that I haven't tapped into for awhile. I have the most amazing forward momentum when I meet my optimal level of challenge, if I fall below that level I fall apart and if the level rises too high, I fall apart. I know - I've felt the two extremes in the past two years and I've learned. The desire for challenge has led me to write 175 pages on my experiences and adventures living with diabetes a year and a half ago and will drive me to keep hitting the pavement one foot at a time!